Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
There is no way this picture book was not written with the help of hallucinogens. On page 2 it says..."The Creator of the World stopped by to see how things were going. She liked to wear disguises and had come as a porcupine, which caused a lot of trouble." But perhaps more troubling is the fact that the ants in the story speak in numbers and symbols. I'm not sure if they're swearing or if they're just from the colony of ants formally known as Prince.
The next little nugget I unearthed from the children's table at the book sale was a cute book called MISERY. Shall we play a game? It's called, WHICH ONE OF THESE PAGES DOESN'T BELONG?
What the heck..? Is this some kind of sneaky anti-smoking campaign slipped into the pages of a kid's book!? Just how many young children were smoking cigarettes in the 1960's?
Thursday, October 29, 2009
So, in conclusion, boys and girls, buying ideas off eBay isn't really necessary. In the future, I'll stick to more traditional methods like eavesdropping, consulting my Magic Eight Ball, candy binges, and exploiting oddball relatives.
For now, all I can tell you about my new story idea is that it involves rabbits. While doing some wascally wabbit weesearch, I came across these funny bunnies.
I believe this is an anti-social cottonball.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
In just ten measly minutes of surfing eBay this afternoon I found listings for a magical treasure chest, a Snoopy shaped potato, a bottle of air, and tater tot earrings. Any one of these items could become the seed for a story.
I can’t say why, but I found this listing’s simplicity and honesty rather refreshing:
If I’m still not feeling inspired by the plethora of oddly shaped corn flakes or haunted dolls for sale on eBay, I could always take my chances on the “gifted muse for hire” (item # 320434007570). For a mere $50 an hour, I can enlist the services of a muse and she will help me find new ideas.
But $50 is a little steep for my budget. Instead, I’ve decided to give a guy who's selling "his two cents" a shot at my next story idea. Bidding started at 2 cents. The auction states:
I will be happy to give you "My Two Cents Worth" here's what you do...
1) Buy auction
2) Send me an email with anything you would like me to comment on
3) I will send you "My Two Cents Worth"
If I win, I’m going to ask what my next book should be about. Right now, I have the winning bid (7 cents). If this guy works out, in the future when people ask me where I get my ideas I’ll be able to tell them I buy them on eBay.
I’ll keep you posted…
Criminy. I was outbid. It seems the going rate for someone's 2 cents is 17 cents. I'm going to give it one more shot. The seller has relisted and the auction ends in 4 days.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
I will be signing books at an Educator Appreciation Event on Saturday, October 10th from 11:00 am to 1:00pm at the Barnes & Noble in Saginaw.
If you just so happen to be driving along Tittabawassee Road in Saginaw this Saturday, please stop in to say "hello!"
Friday, October 2, 2009
And now for my favorite Sea Monkey cautionary tale…a few years ago my 4 adorable nieces were raising their own frolicsome colony of Sea Monkeys, and just like the advertisement claimed, these “most adorable pets” were bringing smiles and laughter and fun into their home.
That is, until tragedy struck on Pancake Sunday.
For some inexplicable reason, the pancake making ritual is one that never grows old with young children. My bright-eyed, hungry nieces were gathered around the hot griddle watching the flesh-colored batter bubble and rise, when adorable niece #3 - pictured here in disguise to protect her identity-
knocked over the bowlful of happiness that was placed in an ill-fated location on the kitchen counter - just inches away from the electrified skillet.
If you think you know where this story is headed, you’re right.
The idyllic Pancake Sunday scene took a very ugly, horrifying turn as dozens of innocent Sea Monkeys popped and sizzled and steamed on the hot griddle. Amid the screams of my young nieces, several futile attempts were made to save the tiny victims with a sticky spatula, but of course, it was too late. They were cooked…or grilled, if you will.
The Bisquick and Brine Massacre story is legendary in our family – likely to be passed on for generations to come. So, it’s true. These playful pets really can, and do, bring smiles and laughter into your home.
Thanks to everyone who participated in the contest!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
In the hopes of inspiring others to be inspired, I have included two additional pictures of my own to the legitimate submissions posted below. Can I do that? I guess I can because it's my contest. bwah! No worries, though...I won't cheat and declare myself the winner of the Sea Monkeys. UNLESS, of course, they can be trained to fetch coffee. In that case, the gloves are off!
This first picture comes from the lovely and talented picture book author, Boni Ashburn. (HUSH, LITTLE DRAGON).